What I Really Think About Cocktail Style Receptions
Now more than ever, couples are opting for a non-traditional format to their wedding day. Among the top alternatives to the traditional sit-down meal is the cocktail style reception, where guests mingle about and munch on appetizers or visit food stations instead of sitting through a formal meal.
With several years of experience working as a certified wedding planner in Toronto under my belt, I’ve been party to a variety of different reception formats. I believe that wedding ceremonies are all about the couple and wedding receptions are all about the guests. With that in mind, the clear winner for me is always the traditional sit down reception dinner. I have found that cocktail receptions are overall less successful from a guest perspective. Here are the reasons why:
1. Guest expectations: for many years now, guests have attended weddings that include a traditional sit down meal and so this has become the expectation. Right or not, guests assume they will be fed a full dinner and when they do not receive this they can leave feeling disappointed.
2. Not enough food: I’ve done several cocktail style receptions over the past few years and one common complaint I hear from guests is that there was not enough food. This is not how you want your wedding day to be remembered. A colleague of mine recently mentioned that they spotted a small group of guests in the parking lot eating a pizza they ordered for themselves during the party portion of a wedding that had a cocktail reception.
3. Food takes too long to arrive: Believe it or not, but surviving cocktail sized portions takes more time and labour to feed everyone! Guests sometimes wait longer than necessary at sit down meals as well, but when they’re brought their plate it’s generally a full and satisfying meal. By contrast, at a cocktail reception, when the food does finally arrive it’s only a few small bites so the reward feels small.
3. Seating: the only thing that could make a guest crankier than not enough food is not enough seating for everyone. This is an issue that comes up for guests at every single cocktail style reception I have managed. Guests expect to be able to sit down. When there isn’t enough seating for all, the ones who do get a seat generally will not move from it all night because they don’t want to lose it. I’ve had Emcees explain and then remind guests of the mingling aspect of the evening but there are always those guests who get a seat and then will not budge. I once had a bride’s uncle demand that I set up “a few more tables and chairs” and had to explain to him that there were no more tables and chairs to set up, and that the couple wanted it that way. He never got to sit down and was grumpy all night long. Some people ended up sitting on the floor and eating in their laps.
Cocktail style dinner receptions can work under the right circumstances. If you’re thinking of having one for you own wedding, these are the things to take into consideration:
1. Know your crowd: cocktail style receptions are not great for crowds that are full of infants, young children, and the elderly. These people will want to sit down. It is possible to reserve a few seats here and there, but reserve too many and those without may feel like secondary guests. Your guest list should be at least 75% of people ages 15 – 50, and those people should be the kind to appreciate a non-traditional evening. Are they foodies who love the opportunity to sample different items at different stations? If so, a cocktail reception could be the way to go!
2. Timing of events: Is your wedding day celebration going to last all day with no opportunity for guests to get a full meal elsewhere? If so, go the traditional route. A cocktail style reception is best reserved for events that start later in the evening (ie, after 7:00pm) or a mid-day celebration that ends before dinner.
3. Informing guests: It’s important the guests know in advance that your reception will be cocktail style instead of a sit down dinner. This is for a multitude of reasons: it gives people the opportunity to eat prior to the event; picky eaters or those worried about dietary restrictions can make necessary arrangements; and those inclined to wear high heels may opt for more comfortable footwear if they know they might be standing all evening.
4. Food Stations and/or scattered entry: try to have your food stations set up far away from each other or, if appetizers are being served from waiters, have them enter from different entry points into the reception area. This will aid in the mingling aspect of the evening and prevent a long line up or a mob of people all waiting in one area for the food to be brought out.
Cocktail style wedding receptions can and do work, but only for the right crowd, under the right circumstances with a good amount of thought and effort into its execution. When in doubt, my advice is always to host a traditional sit-down meal.
Happy Planning!